33 and me

I celebrated my 33rd birthday on Tuesday, July 14th. I was excited and looked forward to enjoying the day no matter what happened or what I did not receive. And I chose to be excited and wear my smile instead of focusing on my other round body parts.

Three years ago when I entered my thirties, I was not excited. I was in pain. Post-postpartum pain and shock that I actually was pregnant and delivered a baby. My private parts were on fire! It hurt to sit, stand, shower, walk and sometimes to lie down. My breasts were fuller, rounder but perhaps with more fat than milk since my supply was low so that was frustrating and disappointing. I was unemployed. I was not in the fancy house, with a fancy nursery rocking my beautiful boy in a glider with a super helpful and supportive husband by my side.

The best part of turning thirty was having my mom with me. I had unchecked goals and dreams and I could not stop thinking about this could not be! I did not care to have a #dirtythirty party but I intended to have BIRTHDAY blast! Perhaps travel and celebrate with family and close friends. Being at home with a newborn was not in the plan. My plan.

For the next two birthdays, the excitement slowly returned. My 32nd birthday, my mom in law did her best to throw me a surprise party and again I had my mom with me. We celebrated with good home cooked meals, my favoruite Grenadian dish (#oildown), cake and drinks with some dear church friends who came over. It was beautiful.