Just a little chat with Jesus
I do not always say the right things or ‘come off’ the right way. I am growing and learning. I have come a long way and I know that there is always room for growth to improve on my speech, my tone, my attitude, my temper and my character.
I was very shy as a child. I clinged to my mother’s leg everywhere we went. I was afraid of people. Not sure why. Even in Secondary School at Anglican High, I remember my mom pushing me, “Tamee go dance, go hang out with your peers.” It was more of a constant plea for me to leave her as she chatted with other parents. We were at a school fair and I was about 13 years old. Anyway, by age 16, I was not as shy. I got to know Jesus and found out that He cares, He listens and He speaks. Jesus spoke to me! Shy me! Awkward me! Too tall and too thin me! Yep, the self esteem issues are for another post. (Insert laugh). I gained joy and most importantly, confidence from reading the Bible and talking with Jesus.
The main verse that brought me out of my shell (July born and cancer is my sign) is 1 John 4 verse 4 which basically says that greater is God who is in me, than he that is in the world. I meditated on that verse, recited it over and over and wore it as my own super hero cape. My mom said that when I did speak as a child, I was not afraid to say what was on my mind. And yes honesty is one of my top character traits. I was not longer shy Tamee. I became bold Tameeka. And I became popular preaching Jesus and purity Tameeka by fifth form. I was a part of the school’s choir, dance team, savings union and prayer group. I was a youth leader at church and a prefect (Student leader) then Deputy head Girl. More responsibility was given to me and I took it seriously, working to be the best example I can be in every way. I was popular and loud for good reasons. Chatting with Jesus helped me remain grounded and He became my best friend.
When I moved to NY by age 17, eventually I became one of the Youth leaders at my church. The other youths included and supported me and the parents encouraged me to help steer their children on the straight and narrow. Once again, I had lost of friends and was popular for just being Jesus-loving me. There were young men who found me attractive but I was not ready to have a boyfriend. A lot of talks with Jesus helped with that!
Most of that changed when I moved to Austin at age 24. I retreated to my shell on most days. I was in a new and strange place, away from all family and all friends. I am grateful that God had answered my prayers, placing specific women to gird me up. Making friends was not as easy after all I was new, with an accent- I had no car and it was not cute or easy to take the bus everywhere. There was no youth group at the new church who met on Friday nights or Saturday afternoons the way my church in Grenada and in NY met for young adult fellowship. Or perhaps I was not aware.
Eventually Deon came up and we got married. By then, there were some young women around my age who had invited me to places and taught me the Austin way. Some of those friends left and I cried. I was grateful for their friendship, acceptance and kindness. Then there were others who just stopped talking without explaining why or anything. I was confused. Again I retreated to my shell and minded my business, focusing on learning how to be a wife and then a mother. I learned that some things a spouse would not understand and it is best to just have a little talk with Jesus about. He is the best friend anyone can have :-).
