2 parent household

Having two parents in the house does not automatically equals good parenting and consistent happy space for babies.

In many, many households the father or male father figure does not know, neither does he try to learn how to be a father. Therefore, a constant fight from taking the baby home, to infancy, toddler and childhood occurs.

Fight and argue to feed
To wash clothes
To wash bottles
To prepare bed
To change diapers
To bathe
To play and spend quality time with
To go places
To cook food
To put to bed …to teach…

Sadly it goes back to the childhood of the parents. In many cases, the girls play pretend to become mothers and wives and working responsible parents while the boys are allowed to rough play, shoot guns, play cars and use their imagination in the woods. The boys go out to play, the girls play in the yard and at home observing, learning and helping more with the chores that adult life requires.

It is therefore left for the boys to instantly become men and father’s and responsible husband with little practice, few examples and the will to learn. To learn from their wives or books and tv and other resources to be present in the home AND actively participate in every area to lead and support as needed. They lead on the job, in the pulpits and even on bus rides but fall asleep at home leaving the leading to the wives in action but by words and chest pounding, declaring that they are the bosses.

Two parents yet the majority of work, planning and execution falls on one parent. Two working or sometimes one working outside the home and the same problems occur. Lack of good communication. Lack of preparation. Lack of prayer– even in the church going Christian homes– failing to bring God into the decision making and asking for His divine help where they are weak in order to create a healthy and securely whole environment for the children. Lack of willingness to seek out good examples to follow and learn from. It happens in poor houses in the projects of the Bronx NY as well as in wealthy nanny assisting mansions in Beverly Hills Ca.

I don’t have a solution. Based on my observations, homes where things run mostly smoothly are where both parents acknowledge that they cannot do it without the help of the Bible, Holy Spirit and educational resources available on building strong families. Each household is unique and must apply what works best for them with wisdom and flexibility, love and understanding. I hope my household can be like the latter some day.